The Psychology of Change
We are all, by nature, creatures of habit – both good and bad. Sometimes, we fall into routines without even thinking about it.
We often start out our days in the same way, performing tasks to get ready for work in the same general order; take the same route to work; use the same phrasing when we speak; eat at the same place for lunch; and so on. Many of our habits, if not most, are neither positive nor negative. They’re fairly neutral and benign. Others, however, may start out somewhat innocuous, but end up doing us harm over time.
It is a rare individual who is 100% regimented with regard to diet and exercise. Most of us fall prey to temptations once in a while. But what might start out as an exception to the rule, such as eating junk food when you normally don’t, often becomes the rule itself.
When our lives get busy, and we’re scrambling to do our job, raise our kids, and keep up with the steady stream of commitments we’ve created for ourselves, it’s easy to fall into the trap of “I deserve this”. It’s easy to justify an extra scoop of ice cream, or another glass of wine, or missing a workout or two, by using the mentality that you work hard, and deserve a break. And the fact is, you do! But the tricky part is making sure that remains the elusive exception, rather than the rule.
Despite the proliferation of health food stores and fitness centers these days, it’s extremely difficult for busy adults to eat well and exercise, If you’re eating on the go, and did not pre-plan anything healthy to eat, you may up getting take-out from Chez 7-11, which is always a dicey proposition! And having access to a gym doesn’t help if you have neither the time nor the energy to exercise. It’s hard enough to stick to a fitness program as it is!
It takes a lot of planning and effort to stay healthy and fit, and it’s far too easy to give up. When you’re overworked, tired, and stressed, it’s easy to ask yourself, “What’s just one cheeseburger gonna hurt?” But throw in fries and a soda, and repeat that process a few times a week, and you’ve soon created a habit that’s extremely hard to break.
Contrary to what you might think, having self-discipline as a child does not always translate into self-discipline as an adult. I’ve counseled just as many former athletes as I have “couch potatoes” with regard to their eating and exercise habits, and it’s often the athletic child who struggles more as an adult. Staying fit was easy when they were active – they didn’t have to even think about it. But when the active child becomes a less active adult, they’re often ill-equipped to deal with diet and exercise as a means of just staying healthy.
Often times it’s the overweight, less active child that becomes the more diligent, exercise conscious adult. Working at it was wired into their DNA at an early age, and they are more accustomed to maintaining their routine. They also have a better understanding of what they need to do – and what it feels like when they don’t!
It is human nature to follow the path of least resistance. It’s easier to stay on the couch than go to the gym. It’s easier to grab a burger from McDonalds than go home and make a salad. When we follow that easier path too often, the harder path becomes even harder.
So, at what point do we change unhealthy habits, and make them stick? It’s fairly simple: when the pain that results from continuing our course of action outweighs the pain required to change those habits, we will take action to course correct.
For many, this requires a wake up call, often in the form of some sort of medical red flag. Others just get fed up with being overweight and/or tired all the time. When faced with get your tired ass to the gym, the regular exerciser knows that they’ll feel better once they get moving, and they don’t want to fall off out of their routine. The “couch potato” has no immediate feelings or memories from which to draw. They might as well be considering climbing Mt. Everest, because that’s what it feels like in the moment.
Unfortunately, extreme, drastic life changes are often doomed to failure. We want to be healthier, and to feel better, but if we have to give up everything we like in order to do so, the immediate pain outweighs the perceived long term positive gains, and we eventually give up.
This is especially prevalent when we have doubts about our ability to succeed. If you are depriving yourself of foods you love, and are busting your butt in the gym, but feel like these actions only “might” result in the physical changes you want to achieve, you are far more likely to give up once the going gets really tough.
You need to have faith in yourself, and in your approach, in order to sustain positive changes in your life. Believe you can succeed, and you will!